Grandmother – after

Everything feels so much heavier without her

My phone, heavy in my hand –
yearning to call and hear her voice

My head, heavy
with my mushed up brains from all the crying

My insides, heavy
from worry and sadness

My steps, heavy
when I step on the graveyard

My hands, heavy
when I shovel ground on her coffin

My heart, so heavy
when I think about her fragile arms around me,
her telling me she loves me

My heart, so heavy
when I think about the last view I got of her –
at the door of her flat

“I’ll see you soon, I love you.”

My heart, so heavy

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